Many people, politicians, lawyers, teachers consider themselves mediators because they want to contribute to peace. They are convinced that by their knowledge and expertise, to be in the best position to solve a conflict.
But mediation is not about knowledge and expertise only. Knowledge and expertise can limit you. Unless you are aware of the limitations of your own expertise and limitations…
The causes are that people who consider themselves well placed to be a mediator, often have to big EGO themselves. Or they behave as judges to the parties and the content of the conflict. Or they enforce ‘their solution’ to the conflict.
More important is to be courageous and prepared for the unknown.
To be fully in the moment with an open mind and open heart.
Only an open mind and an open heart can
‘listen deeply to what the parties say and don’t say’;
‘take distance of own thoughts, knowledge and experiences’
‘be aware of the limitations of expertise and knowledge’
‘be aware in the moment of the dynamics of everything,
‘be aware at any given moment that nothing (in a conflict or mediation) is static.’
‘be aware and feel beyond what he sees and hears to help the parties to find clarity.’
Deep Listening is the first step to clarity where maybe was not even a ‘real’ conflict just confusion.
Solutions in situations of lack of clarity can bring conflict where was no conflict and can bear new conflict. So don’t come to fast with solutions that most of the time are invented to comfort the EGO’s involved…
We are all interdependent!